


25th Anniversary Party of the Union of Magical Communities

by voodoo_technician



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Crossover, Harry Potter - Freeform, INTENSE battles, Magic, Party, Snot, Wands, battles, cheese grater, old story, prompt, skulduggery pleasant - Freeform, smoking dried fruit, sneeze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 06:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1768804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voodoo_technician/pseuds/voodoo_technician
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luna Lovegood meets Valkyrie Cain at a party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	25th Anniversary Party of the Union of Magical Communities

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a creative writing exercise with the prompts sneeze and party. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I desperately wish I wrote the SP series, but then i would be Derek Landy, which I am not (damn). As for the HP series, everybody knows J.K Rowling wrote that gold.

'Ouch!'. Luna Lovegood was sprawled on the floor, her hair looked like it exploded and her violent pink stockings had ripped. A gloved hand appeared in front of her face; Luna followed the arm up with her eyes to meet a girl's face, framed with black hair. She was wearing a black coat with dried blood-red sleeves and a black, frilly dress with a petticoat under it. Hauled to her feet Luna could do nothing but stare. "Uh hi..." the girl said awkwardly, "I'm Valkyrie Cain" she stuck her hand out, Luna shook it.  
"I'm Luna Lovegood, just got out of Hogwarts"  
'Right... Cool!' Valkyrie replied  
An awkward moment of silence hung over the girls, the duration of which was only a dozen seconds.  
'So what do you do to pass the time? You know like hobbies and stuff like that' Luna stammered in an effort to break the ice.  
'Well I've saved the world' she began to count on her fingers 'one, two, three, four, five, six, seven... Seven times so far!'  
'Wow!' Luna replied 'I haven't saved the world, but I did help out a friend who killed he-who-must-not-be-named.'  
'That’s cool,' Valkyrie picked up a drink and handed it too her 'cola?'  
'Yeah, thanks' a small tickling was nudging itself into Luna’s nose. It grew worse. And worse… And worse, so much so that Luna was currently proceeding to abandon her drink of cola to furiously sniff and scratch her nose.  
'Oh no! I'm going to sneeze!' Luna cried  
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
Snot. Went. Everywhere (this was not a normal sneeze you see, before the party, Luna had got into a fight with Pansy Parkinson, who put an extreme sneeze hex on her. Luna had had some trouble removing the hex, so it remained). Amazingly Valkyrie had no snot on her at all. At the last moment, she had created a bubble of air, deflecting the projectile snot. Though her actions had consequences: the people standing next to Valkyrie (Romilda Vane and Billy Ray Sanguine) had copped more of their fair share of the substance.  
Everyone was apparently unharmed and well, other that the few who were covered in phlegm. From a dark corner of the room someone began to growl. The source of the noise, Dusk, who had not been standing next to Val, but on the other side of the room had somehow been in range of Luna’s sneeze. Some of the other party guests had sworn that they saw the bodily fluids rebounding of the roof then hitting a cheese grater (which was on the bar) and ricocheting into the unsuspecting Dusk's face. He pushed a few people into an inflatable pool and bounded towards the two girls.  
'Oh man, this is twice as bad as the time I slashed his face.' Val said  
' So what do we do?' Luna replied

‘ We fight!’

Luna drew her wand and twirled it in her fingers while Valkyrie shifted into a stance, fire blossoming in her palms. Valkyrie thrust her arms forward, engulfing Dusk in flames. Luna raised her wand and shouted ‘petrificus totalus!’. The charm hit him square in the chest and he went flying back a few feet, when he finally stopped sliding across the lino floor it was obvious that he was paralyzed.

‘ Well that was fun, wasn’t it’ Valkyrie grinned

‘ Yep, quite thrilling, I’ve never fought a vampire before, that was my first time!’

‘ Well what do you know! Everyone is having firsts today. I have to admit today is the first time that I have seen snot rebound off a cheese grater!’ Val said ‘and I don’t think I’m going to see it ever again’

‘Probably…’ Luna replied dreamily

‘so where we?’

‘you know I’m not entirely sure…’

‘that doesn’t matter’ Valkyrie explained ‘we can start another topic’

‘ok… so… what’s your favorite flavor of jam?’

‘I’d have to say… plum!’

‘I personally enjoy kumquat jam the most’

‘KUMQUAT! Are you serious?!’

‘yeah’

‘spiffing’ Valkyrie said, awed.

The rest of their night was spent like this. Discussing different types of magic, jam preferences, truth or dare and about twenty glasses of butterbeer. Each. 

Luna almost drank orange juice up her nose and Dreylan Scarab spewed all over Percy Weasley’s new suit. Things became even funnier when Skullduggery Pleasant walked through the door and joined them, he was outside fixing a tire on his 1954 Bentley R-Type Continental, one of 208 ever made, a car that housed a six-cylinder, 4.5 litre engine, and was retro fitted with central locking, climate control, satellite navigation and a host of other modern conveniences.

After telling Luna all this, she passed out. The contributing factors were the fact that she had no experience with muggle technology (so all of the information about the car probably bamboozled her brain) and that she was completely intoxicated thanks to the butterbeer. Though she recovered quickly, thanks to the help from Madam Pomfrey and Kenspeckle Grouse and Clarabelle, who really did nothing but stood there and watched, but she wanted some credit, so we gave her some.

Like Valkyrie, Luna would have been happy with ‘It’s a Bentley’ or even ‘It’s a car’. The three of them began to talk about the financial situation of the Ministry of Magic and Gringotts, a conversation that only lasted fifteen minutes, due to the fact that no one really had any accurate information on the subject. At about 10 o’clock two couples staggered into the function room: Tanith Low and Ghastly Bespoke followed by Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. All four of the lovers quickly hurried out the back door, on the other side of the room, looking flushed.

When the two couples disappeared, Carol and Crystal mysteriously appeared from underneath a piano, smoking, what looked like dried fruit, they were so drunk that they didn’t seem to notice. Valkyrie, Luna and Skullduggery looked at each other and began to laugh. Then squeal, cackle, then eventually ended up on the floor in fits of silent, but hilarious laughter. They couldn’t stop themselves. Lord Voldemort was watching and swore that they didn’t breath for fifteen minutes. (The only reason You-know-who was there was because Dumbledore, who had also been invited, was convinced that Tom Marvolo Riddle could get over his urge to kill people and aliens alike, so he dragged him along. And too much surprise the dark lord seemed to enjoy himself.) And that was the end of a fabulous night for Luna Lovegood and Valkyrie Cain (and all of the other characters from the Harry Potter series and the Skullduggery pleasant series). It was a night that they would never forget…

Except until Luna got Amnesia at the age of 73…

But that’s another story…


End file.
